Let’s Talk about Failure; How I Became an Improv Newbie
Inspiration is all around us, and sometimes messages come when we need them the most. My daughter and I watched Kung Fu Panda 3 for the umpteenth time. It is one of my all-time favs, especially for its authenticity message that you must be yourself to achieve your best.
Early on, there is a scene when Master Shifu assigns Po to teach a class. He fails miserably. Upon hearing Po’s complaints that he can’t do it, Master Shifu wisely states, “If you only do what you can do, you will never be more than you are now.”
This time, that line caught my attention like a bucket of cold water dumped on my head. It was a wake-up moment. I had been going through the motions of my daily routines – predictable, stable, safe, and stagnant. This was a danger zone for someone who preaches about a growth mindset. I went to bed that night wondering, “do I have an issue with failure?”
I was still pondering this question the next day while walking on the beach with my daughter. Watching her, I’ve admired how she lives fully present, keenly observing everything around her. Lately, she’s been into kicking rocks and is constantly on the lookout for the best rocks. Once found, she tries to kick them, often resulting in multiple attempts, before connecting foot to rock. Fearless, she will try anything and embraces practice and failure as part of the learning journey. I remember being similar as a child myself. I wondered at what age did I un-learn these skills? When did failure become too risky for my ego to bear?
In the workplace, I’ve seen failure avoidance show up as risk aversion, being unwilling to take on a big project, make a career transition, or try something new because success is not guaranteed. We think we are successful when we are fully competent and great at everything we do. But maybe we are limiting ourselves to a small sandbox when a vast undiscovered beach is around the corner.
I had to look inside and ask myself, “What am I avoiding because I might be bad at it? Whom might I become if I could break free of my current routines and expectations? What new ideas and creativity might I unleash?” It was time for a little intentional disruption.
I recently took a Storytelling Workshop for Leaders that integrated several improv techniques. The fun experience left me curious to learn more about improv. Curious enough to check out local improv classes and discover that the Comedy Club, a half-mile from my house, offered an entire improv curriculum. But that’s as far I took it. Honestly, the idea of starting something new scared me. I might be the oldest person in the room. Could I even cut it since I had never acted or been part of any theatre endeavor in my entire life?
Dang, I talked myself out of it because I thought I’d be bad and the learning curve too steep. This would never have entered my ten-year-old brain. When we are kids, everything is new to us, and being a beginner is hunky-dory.
I needed to give myself permission to be a beginner again. To re-discover how to find joy in something without tying it to a successful outcome. To make mistakes and embrace imperfection as part of the journey.
I signed up for a 7-week class. The Fundamentals of Improv…. promising to build confidence and train my brain for creative thinking. Being an improv newbie is exhilarating, challenging, and still scary.
Here’s what I have learned so far:
Lesson #1: Be fully present and ready
Improv is about living in the moment and observing what is happening in front of us. We are even taught an active stance similar to playing defense in basketball, ready to move in any direction. We are told to get out of our heads and listen to our intuition. When we get stuck in our heads, we miss what’s happening around us. It’s not about thinking of the best line ahead of time; it’s about accepting the offer in front of you. Yes, and… the first rule of improv.
We play a bunch of games to help us do precisely that. Stop thinking, observe, and respond.
My favorite game was called Bunny Bunny. Not because it brought back nostalgic memories of Easter peeps (which it did), but because of its sheer ridiculousness and an unexpected insight that came up.
To play Bunny Bunny, everyone circles up, and the bunny (two quote fingers that face the person, then the person the bunny is traveling to) moves about the circle to the beat “ooh, ahh, ooh, ahhh” that the entire circle keeps. Wherever the bunny lands, the people on either side support the bunny by dancing towards the bunny and saying “toki, toki, toki, toki). It is challenging to stay in the game as the pace gets faster and faster. Our group went for it in a spectacular fashion. The pulsing beat of the oohs and ahhs, the fantastic 90’s dance moves to accompany each toki toki. After hitting peak performance, we crumbled in laughter.
In our debrief, our instructor explained that Bunny Bunny is an excellent example of what happens on an improv stage. There is the person who has focus, the people supporting that person, and the rest of the team and the audience.
As we went around the circle to finish the debrief, someone shared that their spouse is Korean and toki meant rabbit in Korean. Our instructor had a “say whaaaat” moment. With the best mind-blowing gesture, he exclaimed that in his 20+ years of doing improv, he never knew toki meant rabbit in Korean. Even when you are the teacher, there is always something new to learn.
Lesson #2: Don’t be afraid to fail
We will fail and fail often, says our instructor. He explains that in improv, we embrace and celebrate failure. Sometimes it’s failure that creates the best moments and biggest laughs. He encouraged us to fail and take a bow when we did. Improv is a great place to take risks and practice failure. How often do we go through our lives holding back because we are afraid to fail, afraid of being judged not good enough?
I made many mistakes that night, including accidentally falling up the stairs onto the stage. Yes, you can actually fall going up the stairs. After my comedic stumble, I brushed it off and immediately took a bow, receiving a round of applause. I am on my way to failing greatly!
I may never be a great improv performer. The only time I will perform on Saturday Night Live will be in a deep slumber, laughing in my dreams while co-hosting with my comedy crush, Melissa McCarthy. But Improv is helping me get better about trying new things, especially where there is a sharp learning curve and no end goal of success. It’s about progression, not perfection. Mistakes are part of the process. Most of the time, when you say or do something wrong, it is not the end of the world. Mistakes are often learning opportunities or happy accidents, as Bob Ross would say. That’s where the magic happens.
